How do I know if mediation is right for me? 

Mediation is one of many ways to get divorced. There's also collaborative law, and going straight to court, called litigation. With the Courts closed or significantly backlogged due to COVID-19, mediation is a faster and less expensive alternative to litigating. 

Can I get divorced with mediation?

Yes, there are 3 phases to getting divorced using mediation: 1) the mediation phase where you meet with your spouse and discuss how to divide assets and debts and how to co-parent; 2) the writing up of the agreement phase; and 3) the filing of your divorce petition in your local court. Click here to learn more about mediated divorce. 

What does the mediation process look like? 

Michelle will meet with you and your spouse at the same time and will go through all the decisions you and your partner need to make, such as how to divide any assets like an apartment or coop, or debts like credit card debts and if you have children, where the children will live and how you will make decisions about the children. 

Currently, due to COVID-19, Michelle is mediating online only. Michelle uses Zoom but can also use other platforms such as Microsoft teams, What's App video conferencing, or Facetime to have a video conference with both parties. In non-COVID times, Michelle will meet with you in person in 2 hour sessions. 

What if my spouse and I cannot speak about dividing up the marital assets and debts or where the children will live without fighting? Is mediation right for us?

Mediation does not mean there is no conflict. Mediation can be right for couples with high conflict and for couples with less conflict. Michelle will not dictate the answers but facilitate the process so each of you is heard. The best solution is one you come up with that works for your situation. 

How will I know my rights and what to ask for if I choose mediation instead of litigation?

Michelle always recommends that each person hires their own attorney. There are two kinds of attorneys in the mediation process: Consulting Attorney and Review Attorney.  A consulting attorney gives advice and counsel along the way, throughout the mediation process so you know what the law says and you feel protected.  

An alternative to a Consulting Attorney is a Review Attorney. A review attorney does just what it sounds like, they review or look over your agreement after you've mediated and make sure you've got all the boxes checked and come away with a solution. 

The court referee or judge in my case asked me to try and mediate my case. Do I have to attend? 

Mediation works because it's voluntary. That means that you're both willing to put in the work to try and resolve your conflict. 

Why should I hire an attorney mediator and a lawyer? It feels like a lot of extra money wasted? Can’t my spouse and I just hire an attorney mediator and skip the lawyers?

The law makes it easy to get married and harder to get divorced. While three professionals does sound like a lot, you won't necessarily need your consulting lawyer to spend a lot of time on your case. As your mediator, Michelle will act as a neutral facilitator and because of her experience, be able to inform you of the law. But she won't be able to advise you which decisions to make. 

A Consulting or Review Attorney will advise you of your rights and help guide you should you need legal advice. Law is one factor in deciding how to make decisions re dividing your marital property and debts.  It's good to know the law first then decide what role it plays in your agreement. 

Why not just have our two lawyers negotiate a settlement so we don’t have to go through the mediation phase?

That is one way to do things. Your lawyers can speak for you. And in some circumstances that is an effective way. But some things get lost when someone speaks for you. Mediation is different. You will be speaking directly to your spouse and not having a lawyer speak for you. You and your spouse will come to an agreement that is unique to your family's circumstances and therefore likely to last longer.

What other issues do you mediate?

I mediate all types of family conflict, such as conflict over elder care, child permanency conflict for termination of parental rights, and sibling conflict. The advantage of mediation is that the goals and outcomes are yours.  

How much does mediation cost? 

Michelle provides mediation and legal consultation services and charges different rates based on a sliding scale. Contact her to discuss further. You can expect between 5-8 sessions, 2 hours each. For more information about Sliding Scale Rates click here.

Do you mediate if there's been domestic violence? 

Domestic violence involves a spectrum of behavior and power and control so the answer is it depends on many factors. Each family's situation is very unique. Michelle has carefully trained individuals to help her screen for domestic violence and safety issues. The survivor's safety is the number one concern. However, with the courts in NYC closed for new family cases, Michelle can talk with you and together evaluate whether your conflict is appropriate for mediation.